From pre-teens to grandmothers, we women seem to have a knack for beating ourselves up, reminding ourselves on a regular basis that we lack something because we are not “enough.”
Young girls think they are not pretty enough or popular enough to compete with peers. As they move through young adult hood,they worry about whether they are sexy enough, attractive enough, smart enough,competitive enough, or have just enough of what it takes to get into whatever group, association, career choice or relationship they want. Having children only adds to the dilemma, when both new and mature mothers worry whether they are present enough in their children s’ lives if they must share in being the bread winner, capable enough in their employer’s eyes if they have family demanding their attention or even “worthy” enough in the eyes of their peers, especially those who seem to have it together in some magical way.
Women go through life questioning whether they have been enough of a wife, mother, daughter or even lover to people who matter to them and even to those who never will. Society dictates that a “woman’s work is never done.” so it must also seem that women will never reach “enough”, sensing that falling short of our goals must demonstrate we are not committed enough. Getting older sometimes only adds to the pressure, with both time and experience questioning if we are aging gracefully enough, have been involved enough and will leave enough of a legacy to really have contributed. From botox to breastfeeding, volunteering to Victoria’s Secret, glass ceilings to glass slippers, women have constantly been reminded that we can be and do more better if we were just rich, smart, popular, sensitive, well read, well bred, classy, thin, youthful, playful and both strong and helpless enough.
It’s time to realize that the bar for what “enough” is constantly changes,hearing that 40 is the new 30 can be exhilarating but women need to realize they need not hide every flaw, failure, mistake, or inadequacy that makes us come up short. We need to recognize the value of self worth; first being happy with who we are in our own eyes before we think we can let anyone else tell us what would make us better. We need to know that the pressure we often feel to be more than we are at the moment, is often just society’s way of selling us more products, programs, paraphernalia and propaganda. Being “enough” of anything doesn’t mean you are any more fulfilled or capable than the next person. Often it is like the half empty glass: what one person sees as partly missing, the other perceives as half way there.
Get out of your own way and recognize the little subliminal messages you get telling you that you are not “enough”. Seriously, It’s time to tell those voices in your head that you have had “ENOUGH”
posted by Kathy
