Judge not the Wife

In Uncategorized on December 14, 2010 at 12:06 am

Tis the season to be Jolly… Fa la la la la, la la la la.

 We know that this can be a very depressing time for many, especially for a wife. 

She is a Women In Fight for her very Existence. 

Stats support that 1 out of every 4 women are victims of domestic abuse.  Her identity is hidden by her deadly silence because she knows that the moment she shares her secret she will be belittled.  I am going to call her Jaine because she deserves to be known, understood, acknowledged, heard and properly identified. 

Usually when Jaine is discussed the first comments made by others sounds something like this…..”I won’t let any man put his hands on me….that would be the last time”….or “why doesn’t she  just leave”….or “What did she do to provoke that man to mistreat her”….or simply “she must like it”.

Jaine missed the warning signs.  The Red flags were subtle at first.  He got serious too quickly, he was too possessive, jealous, self-centered.  Nothing was ever his fault, he constantly checked up on Jaine.  He was disrespectful and held negative attitudes toward women.

Jaine is in a relationship were there is no such thing as fair play.  She is in an intimate relationship or marriage where her partner dominates the relationship by using fear, guilt, isolation, threats, denial, blame, shame and intimidation to wear her down and gain complete control.   

Jaine hopes for the ideal relationship and that her partner becomes committed to the vows of marriage. Jaine blames herself for the problems in the relationship. It may take a very long time for her to realize that she is not the blame for the abuse.

Next time you talk to Jaine, or you meet Jaine, or you read about Jaine or see her story in the news, instead of judging her why don’t you pray for her?  If you have the opportunity to talk to Jaine….just listen…don’t judge.  Let her know that you are concerned, ask Jaine what she would like to do and if there is anything you can do for her.  Give her the domestic violence hotline number at 800-799-SAFE.

Realize that Jaine is a Woman IFight for her very  Existence. 

Happy Holdiays Jaine….you are not alone….we hear you and we are not judging you.

My Christmas wish is Peace on Earth …Goodwill to Jaine!

 Darlene Sheardon


Live Your Life by Design

Seminars and Workshops to Undo the Damage of Domestic Abuse

  1. AMEN!. Well written and well said. God is Love, Peace and Joy. We all deserve this…

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