Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Can I Have an Oreo?

In Uncategorized on March 11, 2012 at 10:11 pm

So, does the Bible say anything about being physically healthy?  Is it still relevant today?

The answer to both questions…YES!  So much so it won’t all fit in this post….Vanilla Oreo

The most popular verses would be:

1 Corinthians 6:19-20….19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. (NIV)

WOW, that is pretty heavy…honor God with our bodies….in whatever we do….what we eat, exercise, how we dress, how we act with our bodies…and on and on.

What about 1 Corinthians 10:31….31 So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. (NIV)

Hmmm, whatever we eat or drink…WHATEVER….oops, the four vanilla Oreo cookies I ate today…in a row….not in my best interest..and no matter how I try to justify it in my mind…they did not glorify God.

Okay, how about 2 Corinthians 7:1…. 1 Therefore, since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God. (NIV)

So does that mean we should never, ever, ever, ever eat an Oreo?  Not even just one???

Well, I don’t know.

I think the main thing to remember is that in Biblical times at least 99% of things were organic!  There was very little pollution so the oxygen was better, the soil was cleaner and there were no chemical bug sprays.  Everything grown was very pure.  The fish, meat, veggies, fruits…there were no artificial flavorings or preservatives.

WOW, hard to imagine.

Also…no one “exercised” because daily life required “exercise”.  Fires didn’t build themselves, there was no machinery, microwaves, washers and dryers, public water, etc.

Jesus was a carpenter and used hand tools.  Some of the disciples were fishermen….they hauled the nets in the boat with their own strength!

Daniel (and his friends)…when taken in to captivity, did not eat the foreign foods and instead stuck to their simple diet.  He was stronger and healthier than those who gave in to the temptations of the richer foods. Daniel 6:6-16

Well, “We are all going to die anyway” and “God wants me to enjoy my time on earth”….have you ever thought or heard those before?  I have.

Both are true, but, can we truly live out our calling if we are sick, don’t feel well and/or have low self-esteem issues because of our weight?


So….can we have an Oreo or not?  Yes, of course we can…I had four today. Free will and all.

The real question is SHOULD we?




I can’t hear you!

In Uncategorized on November 13, 2011 at 9:33 pm

I was thinking about teenagers the other day and how I really want to take my hand, put it on their heads and transfer “all” my wisdom so they avoid making the same mistakes I did.

I know this won’t happen….unfortunately…

You have heard of hindsight, right?  The definition of hindsight according to dictionary.com is –

the ability to understand, after something has happened, what should have been done or what caused the event

This is very beneficial EXCEPT it is a little too late!!

Wouldn’t it be great if we could just avoid life’s pitfalls?  Have hindsight before making choices…..ahhhhh, how wonderful!!!

Avoid debt, chose a partner wisely, choose a career that really fits us, just make really good decisions?

Isn’t that what we want all the teenagers to do…make really great decisions?  Learn from our mistakes?

But are we really good examples?

I mean….aren’t there red flags we are getting ready to fall in to a pit?

Red flags that tell us our budget it out of control?  Red flags to warn us that maybe this friend isn’t good for us?  Red flags to tell us that the knight in shining armor is just a dud in sparkly clothes?

So, if we, the mature, experienced adults can not avoid these pitfalls, how can we expect teenagers to?

I have had to dig myself out of many pits.  Yes, the red warning flags were there but did I pay attention?  No….I just kept meandering on my path, fell in to a pit and then spent time digging myself out of something I could have easily avoided.

If someone had come to me and said….”If you keep walking down that path, you are going to fall in to a pit that will take you a lot of time and effort to get out of.”  Would I have listened?

Probably not.

How then, do we help teenagers, friends and family avoid pitfalls?  How can we warn them?

Or can we?

Are there some things that just come with age?  With experience?

Is it the way the message is delivered?  Is it a timing thing?  How do we distinguish between those that are open to a warning and those that aren’t?  Is it our responsibility to still say something even though they have their hands over their ears screaming, “I can’t hear you.”?

I don’t know, this thought started out about teenagers but really ended up being about all people.  No one is perfect and no one makes the right choices/decisions all the time but….is there a way to help tip the scales?

A lady I worked with told me her story….She just wasn’t sure the man she was engaged to was really the one God had intended for her.  She asked God to direct her path, she asked Him to have her fiance say a very specific sentence if he was not the man for her.

Well, the next time she saw her fiance, he said the EXACT sentence….

Did she break up with her fiance?  Unfortunately….no.  She had a miserable marriage and her kids suffered even after the divorce.

I think about her often and how she had this big, bright neon sign flashing NO in front of her face and she still ignored it.

I am so sure that God has been that direct with me and I have also ignored the signs.  Other people may have seen the signs for me, but, I was oblivious.

So, back to my original questions….how do we help people “see” the neon signs?  How do we help them dig out of the pits or, avoid them all together?  Is there a system?  A way to help?  Do we have a responsibility to say something?

Appreciate any responses.  A discussion about this is also going on here.

Prayers and Peace,



No More Excuses

In Uncategorized on September 19, 2011 at 8:43 pm

Last week I talked about how my heart and head couldn’t be trusted when it comes to reaching my goals.

They don’t like change and I’m not far behind them.  Change is hard, there is a risk involved and there is a shock to our brains.

I remember when I was starting to run, my plan was to work my way up to two miles.  I would run (slowly jog was more like it) 1/4 mile, walk 1/4 mile and so on until I accomplished two miles.  Then, after doing that a week, my plan was to run 1/2 of a mile, walk 1/2 and so on.   Well, one day I just decided to try the whole two miles at once…and…I did it!!

It was by no means pretty, I was extremely sweaty with a very red face and I felt like all my limbs were flopping around but….I did it!

Uh oh!

I knew if I did it once, I could do it again…sorta good news and bad news.   I had thebigrocks.comno more excuses!  No more “working my way up”, I had proof that I could do it!  I could no longer go back to 1/4 and 1/4 or 1/2 and 1/2, my new starting point was now two miles!

We are taught to break our goals in to small measurable steps, and I agree with that… most of the time.

Sometimes, I think it is better to just go for it….all of it…at once!!

What do we have to lose by stretching ourselves and doing more than we though possible?  By pushing ourselves?

After I was running three miles on a regular basis, I would talk to people who were in much better shape that me, and they would say, “Oh, I can’t, I just can’t get past a mile.”.  My advice was always the same, “Do two miles at one time, it is mental, not physical.”.

We have all heard the quote by Henry Ford, “Whether you think that you can, or that you can’t, you are usually right.”

Do what you can, as soon as you can and don’t let your brain limit you!!

Goals or Chores?

In Uncategorized on September 8, 2011 at 10:34 pm

If you look at my site you will see this is my first blog in months….yes MONTHS!!

“Why”, do you ask?

Well….the dishes needed to be done, so did the laundry, Sunday school lessons prepared, I needed to walk, bike, water the plants, feed the dog, feed the cats, spread mulch, mow, fill the bird feeders, check Facebook, check email, fill the car up with gas, dust, sweep, chat with the neighbors, watch Design Star, read, spend time with hubby (he has been working 7 days a week on 2nd shift), talk to family, talk to friends, work my full-time job, go to the grocery store, eat, sleep and the list goes on. Lisa's yard that needs mowing

Makes me tired just re-reading the list.

But, how did I let MONTHS go by without blogging?

I’ll tell you, my most powerful team members convinced me that the above things were more important than working on my goals!

Team member one – my head – told me to do my chores first and then work on my goals because that is the “right” way to do it, it is more “responsible”.

Team member two – my feelings/heart – told me, “Not yet”, “Tweak it a little more”, and “You may get me (feelings) hurt”.

If you look at what I have accomplished over the last months would you be able to tell that one of my goals is post the Bible Studies I wrote?


So, why did I allow my team members to lead me in the wrong direction?

I think the answer is actually pretty simple…

They can’t be trusted!!!!

I was busy, doing socially acceptable things that have to be done.  I mean, when you read the list it sounds like I am a responsible adult with a clean house and nice yard…right?  Please notice the pictures and you will see that the yard needs mowed again and there is more mulch to be spread.

Lisa's yard

Both team members are needed, useful and usually do a pretty good job of helping me out.  When it comes to change, overcoming fear, and “thinking outside the box” though, they are not the ones who should be making the decisions.

I should be!!

I see the big picture, I see the road map, I see what I want the future to look like.   I decide what gets done!!

So, my question to you is….Who is calling the shots with your dreams and goals?

Lisa Graham


Am I smarter?

In Uncategorized on June 7, 2011 at 10:44 pm

A little boy was walking down a path and he came across a rattlesnake. The rattlesnake was getting old. He asked, “Please little boy, can you take me to the top of the mountain? I hope to see the sunset one last time before I die.”

The little boy answered “No Mr. Rattlesnake. If I pick you up, you’ll bite me and I’ll die.”

The rattlesnake said, “No, I promise. I won’t bite you. Just please take me up to the mountain.”

The little boy thought about it and finally picked up that rattlesnake and took it close to his chest and carried it up to the top of the mountain. They sat there and watched the sunset together. It was so beautiful.

Then after sunset the rattlesnake turned to the little boy and asked, “Can I go home now? I am tired, and I am old.” The little boy picked up the rattlesnake and again took it to his chest and held it tightly and safely. He came all the way down the mountain holding the snake carefully and took it to his home to give him some food and a place to sleep.

The next day the rattlesnake turned to the boy and asked, “Please little boy, will you take me back to my home now? It is time for me to leave this world, and I would like to be at my home now.”

The little boy felt he had been safe all this time and the snake had kept his word, so he would take it home as asked. He carefully picked up the snake, took it close to his chest, and carried him back to the woods, to his home to die.

Just before he laid the rattlesnake down, the rattlesnake turned and bit him in the chest. The little boy cried out and threw the snake upon the ground. “Mr. Snake, why did you do that? Now I will surely die!” The rattlesnake looked up at him and grinned, “You knew what I was when you picked me up.”

This is one of my favorite stories, I love the subtle lesson.

I take it to mean that all those times I think, “It won’t happen to me”, or  “I’m smarter than that”, or “I can handle it”…I’m probably wrong.  It reminds me to seek wise counsel, be cautious and, maybe, the most important part….think before agreeing to something.

Copyright All rights reserved by Fenwick1925

Helping you turn chaos into a life you love!



Hassle Free Gift Returning

In Personal Self Esteem, Purpose, Uncategorized, Women's Issues on March 15, 2011 at 1:19 pm

Just a few months ago many of us were celebrating the Christmas holiday season. Malls, stores and even the internet were packed with shoppers looking for the perfect gift for their loved ones. Immediately after Christmas, the malls, stores and the internet were packed with many people returning or exchanging gifts. Just last month, Valentine’s Day was celebrated. Many wives who received gifts also returned gifts.

Reasons for returning gifts include but are not limited to the following:

• not sure what to do with the gift

• Not the right fit

• Expectation was not met

 • Gift not valued

• Missing parts

It can be such a stressful, frustrating hassle to return gifts. I want to share with you five secrets of hassle free gift returning. By applying these five secrets you will have Many Happy Returns.

Everyone has been given a gift. We all are endowed with a gift or gifts from God that we have the responsibility to use, develop and share.

 So how do you return your gift or gifts?

FIRST – Ask the right questions. Begin by asking those who know you best (parents siblings, spouse, close friends) to help identify your gift(s). Pay close attention to activities that evoke the strongest response in you. As you identify your gifts you can ask/answer the following questions: What on earth am I here for? What will be the center, character, contribution and communication of my life?

SECOND – Value the contents of the packaging. In other words do not envy anyone else’s gift. God has a unique purpose for your life and you are the only one who can achieve it. Envy is an expression of inferiority. It is based on insecurity. Envy occurs when you don’t realize how special you are. We focus most of the time on what we aren’t rather than what we are. We tend to overvalue what we aren’t and undervalue what we are. Don’t fall into the Trap of Comparison.

THIRD – Try it on for fit. Your Gift will fit you like a hand in a glove. Gifts are things you have done well and you enjoyed doing. You have gifts and talents that are revealed when you involve yourself in various activities. As you discover your gifts, continue to groom them and learn all you can. Spend 80 % of your time developing your strengths. Spend 15% learning about your gift, and 5% of your time on strengthening your weaknesses.

FOURTH – Read and follow the instruction manual. Take time for personal development by becoming a constant learner. Whatever your passion may be, read 3 or more books on the subject. You can become an expert on that topic. Read the Bible and hold onto the promises of God. He will give you the desires of your heart.

FIFTH -FINALLY…Should the gift be returned? The answer is a resounding YES! You enrich not just yourself, but your family, your community, and the world when you are fully using your GIFTS and pursuing your dreams.

Isn’t it time to return your gift(s)?

It is Hassle Free!!

Wishing you Many Happy Returns!

Darlene Sheardon


Live Your Life by Divine Design!

She Speaks in Thoughts, Words and Actions

In Uncategorized on March 11, 2011 at 2:52 am

Image via Wikipedia

I wondered if it might be appropriate to use this blog to post my request for a scholarship to She Speaks, a conference held in North Carolina, which I have wanted to attend for several years. For more information see Lysa Terkeurst

Then, I realized We Need A Wife is a perfect venue because I write these posts with incredible women who were strangers less than six months ago and who all believe we have  God given talents we were designed to share. Encouragement and support from one another help all of us to reach our dreams and We Need A Wife addresses  specific issues women everywhere face; how do we truly use our gifts effectively, while still being a wife, mother, sister, daughter, grandmother, employee, employer and friend to the people in our lives? It’s difficult enough to be responsible, unselfish and focused in any one of those roles, let alone many.


Image by Vocalities via Flickr

Woman have certainly been there; Inventors of multi-tasking,  we have prepared dinner or prepared tomorrow’s presentation while nursing a baby,organized a birthday party or earned a degree while rocking a cradle, kissing a boo-boo or helping with homework. We know our families feelings almost before they experience them and when any one of our family hurts,we hurt. We go the distance even when we think we cannot go another inch.We know how to go from sweats to presentable in less time than it takes  most people to brush their teeth. We mentally compose our grocery lists, sales quotas and sometimes even thoughts to God in the shower, on the freeway or in the wee hours of the night whenever we should be having the rest we couldn’t wait to get all day.

A couple of 14-carat gold wedding rings. Pictu...

Image via Wikipedia

We give but we don’t give up.We have often dealt with broken promises, heavy hearts, unrealistic expectations and incredible odds, realizing the back  burner was where our dreams survived until we would permit them the time, energy and resources we had for everything else.

Nobody insisted we sacrifice so much, but being divinely wired for compassion, gentleness, grace and love, we automatically know what our loved ones need before they ask and we give generously to others quite often before we meet needs of our own. Nobody tells us to feel guilty for pampering ourselves, taking time off  to reconnect with our souls, seizing opportunities to support our girlfriends or even just doing nothing for awhile… but we do. Woman can be envious, jealous and sometimes even catty but we also have a measure of unselfishness that is amazing.

Society makes us feel badly about everything from feeding our family a night of fast food to missing the memo on the latest styles. We are looked down on by some if we are working mothers and by others if we don’t contribute to meet the needs of our families. Women are criticized for marrying too young or chastised for waiting to long to settle down. We know what it is like to hit our heads on the bunk bed sleeping next to a frightened or sick child as well as the infamous glass ceiling when being female did not meet a company’s image. Sometimes it seems  we are expected to please everyone but barely make anyone happy. The world often puts us in  spiritual battles with ourselves.


Image by CR Artist via Flickr

We often forget the image we were made in; forget who loves us unconditionally regardless of the mistakes we make, the goals we don’t always meet or the baggage we carry. We know what we do but forget who and often whose we are.

She Speaks is an opportunity to share my message and encourage others to do the same, because women connect with other women easily, as though we are born into a sisterhood regardless of our circumstances and this sisterhood identifies, remembers and knows we have most definitely been one another’s place. We have stories to share and dreams to achieve and a creator who believes in us more than we often believe in ourselves.

Working Mom (170/365)

Image by Wondermonkey2k via Flickr

While I would love to have the scholarship, I also know that another woman would as well and there are only 2 being given, but  if I am fortunate enough to get a scholarship to  go, I will also pay half the tuition($300) for another woman who wants to attend because then maybe an additional woman who might not be able to afford the entire amount can also have an opportunity. We can do more together than any of us can do separately, because, well, because, we are givers to others, divinely wired to be generous whether with hands to hold, shoulders to cry on, hugs to comfort or words to offer support.We have our weaknesses but together we have unbelievable strength!

Do you feel like somedays you really just need a wife? Maybe you just need to know you are in good company.

Helping Grandmother Walk

Image by Rosie O'Beirne via Flickr

Do you want to take your thoughts and words and put them into action as well? Do you have a message the world needs to hear? Check out She Speaks Conference

I so hope I will be there to meet you!

Welcome to Opinionated Women Everywhere Who Write, Read and Start a Fire

In Uncategorized on March 4, 2011 at 10:18 pm

Welcome to the Blogger Ball Redux and She Writes Bloggers.  Thanks to Meg Waite Clayton who blogs at 1st Books

I became a member of She Writes before I had any blog going and with the encouragement of fellow She Writes colleagues, this is one of several I write. We Need A Wife is a very special blog because not only is it about what women really think, know, face and are up against, because it is a joint endeavor from bloggers around the country who met and clicked, talked and planned, became friends and started a blog about what we all know best…what it is like to be a woman!

Welcome to our site. We’d love you to follow and offer suggestions for posts. Who knows, we may be offering guest posts sometime . We hope you like what you see, because we really like who you are…and who we are…women, opinionated, reading, writing and ready not just to cook, but to start that fire!

We Started A Fire

Image by Heo2035 via Flickr

The House That Built Me

In Personal Self Esteem, Uncategorized, Women's Issues on February 25, 2011 at 3:01 pm
Houses which have been condemned by the Board ...

Image by The Library of Congress via Flickr

“…If  I could walk around I swear I’ll leave, won’t take  nothin but a memory of the house that built me.” So go the lyrics of country singer, Amanda Lambert’s  famous song.

According to the 2209 U.S. Census, poverty is on the increase in America. In 2009, 14.7 % of American households. 1 in 6 adults and 1 in 4 children struggled with hunger and food insecurities. The current economic situation has forced people who we might never have expected to have to deal with homelessness to live in shelters or seek public housing.

My friend, Amy,was moved by these statistics several years ago and although she lives in one of the most wealthy states in our nation, she decided to roll up her sleeves and personally invest in helping even one family at a time make their living conditions and overall survival better. She has delivered food, washing machines, toys and love to families in Rural Appalachia, a place so poverty stricken that few people in America can imagine calling “home.” Children there often only predictably eat when they are attending school. Homes are often run down trailers or make shift housing. However, in many of those less than perfect dwellings, families live in love and hope.

We might be moved by these statistics all over America and yet we are still wealthier than other countries in the world. We might understand that there is an increase in families who call a shelter, “home” or live in safe houses because they are victims of domestic violence and yet our understanding pales for truly imagining the despair of being displaced from a predictable life in a home where we don’t have to worry if today is the day someone will harm us, our children or even themselves. We might fear the places that look uncomfortable from the outside. But looks can be deceiving.

Expansive (and Expensive) Home

Image by mwhaling via Flickr

It is hard for many Americans to really sink our teeth into what it is like to live in circumstances that do not provide comfort, safety,  or even meet basic daily needs. We might prefer to turn our heads to the ugly truth and hope never to have to come across the depressing statistics or unfortunate faces.  It makes many of us feel guilty to enjoy homes in a pristine community with a playground for our children and a yard for our pets. But looks can be very deceiving.

There is sometimes an even bigger surprise  behind the houses some people can only ever dream about owning.  Many people have grown up in lovely homes with a long history of domestic abuse, neglect, or unspeakable behavior.  Some of the most beautiful homes have hidden the drug, alcohol or sexual abuse that lived within its walls.  Children might have had the best of everything except a parent who really had time free from his or her own agenda to really be involved with them. It is not just in low income, single parent homes where cheating, lying and stealing have been a fact of life. Theresa Flores lived in an upscale community in Detroit when she became the victim of domestic trafficking.  Looks can be deceiving.

A house or lack of one does not make anyone. J. K. Rowling, author of the Harry Potter books lived as a single parent on welfare in Scotland, Oprah Winfrey was a single teenage mother living in abject poverty in rural Mississippi, and Shania Twain lived in homeless shelters in Canada. Yet, the children of Tiger Woods know a house of divorce and cheating and mansions full of  comfort did not spare the sad fates of Lindsey Lohan or Charlie Sheen.

Some of us have fabulous memories of a wonderful home with loving parents and others have had to come to grips with far fewer good times than bad while growing up in circumstances better forgotten than recalled. Yet, regardless of where or what we called home, we were built as the bible says, fearfully and wonderfully made. No bricks or mortar, no lack of heat or bed, no shameful acts or secrets can make us less so.

We can never really know what goes on behind the houses we pass by, but regardless, what memories we had, good or bad, wonderful or frightening, we are more than a house and what is within, we are a life and soul created for a better place. Our homes here are temporary but our legacies can live forever.

It is not what house but Whose house builds us and the Lord says He has already planned one with many rooms for us in a place more wonderful than we can imagine (John 14:1-4). Regardless of the house that built you, are you planning on living in one where nothing can compare?

365 Day 63

Image by pimpexposure via Flickr

Judge not what you see on the outside, although pain and suffering may exists in any circumstance, we often see what we want to see rather than what there really is and looks can be deceiving.(1 Samuel 16:7)

If you would like to learn more about Amy and her projects or help  in any way visit her at rampamerica.org

To learn more about Theresa and her incredible legacy today about her experiences visit gracehavenhouse

I Have Had Enough…Have you?

In Uncategorized, Women's Issues on February 4, 2011 at 8:48 pm

From pre-teens to grandmothers, we women seem to have a knack for beating ourselves up, reminding ourselves on a regular basis that we lack something because we are not “enough.”

Young girls think they are not pretty enough or popular enough to compete with peers. As they move through young adult hood,they worry about whether they are sexy enough, attractive enough, smart enough,competitive enough, or have just enough of what it takes to get into whatever group, association, career choice or relationship they want.  Having children only adds to the dilemma, when both new and mature mothers worry whether they are present enough in their children s’ lives if they must share in being the bread winner, capable enough in their employer’s eyes if they have family demanding their attention or even “worthy” enough in the eyes of their peers, especially those who seem to have it together in some magical way.

Women go through life questioning whether they have been enough of a wife, mother, daughter or even lover to people who matter to them and even to those who never will.  Society dictates that a “woman’s work is never done.” so it must also seem that women will never reach “enough”, sensing that falling short of  our goals must demonstrate we are not committed enough. Getting older sometimes only adds to the pressure, with both time and experience questioning if we are aging gracefully enough, have been involved enough and will leave enough of a legacy to really have contributed. From botox to breastfeeding, volunteering to Victoria’s Secret, glass ceilings to glass slippers, women have constantly been reminded that we can be and do more better if we were just rich, smart, popular, sensitive, well read, well bred, classy, thin, youthful, playful and both strong and helpless enough.

It’s time to realize that the bar for what “enough” is constantly changes,hearing that 40 is the new 30 can be exhilarating  but women need to realize  they need not hide every flaw, failure, mistake, or inadequacy that makes us come up short. We need to recognize the value of self worth; first being happy with who we are in our own eyes before we think we can let anyone else tell us what would make us better. We need to know that the pressure we often feel to be more than we are at the moment, is often just society’s way of selling us more products, programs, paraphernalia and propaganda.  Being “enough” of anything doesn’t mean you are any more fulfilled or capable than the next person. Often it is like the half empty glass: what one person sees as partly missing, the other perceives as half way there.

Get out of your own way and recognize the little subliminal messages you get telling you that you are not “enough”. Seriously, It’s time to tell those voices in your head that you have had “ENOUGH”

posted by Kathy