weneedawife

Posts Tagged ‘listening’

I can’t hear you!

In Uncategorized on November 13, 2011 at 9:33 pm

I was thinking about teenagers the other day and how I really want to take my hand, put it on their heads and transfer “all” my wisdom so they avoid making the same mistakes I did.

I know this won’t happen….unfortunately…

You have heard of hindsight, right?  The definition of hindsight according to dictionary.com is –

the ability to understand, after something has happened, what should have been done or what caused the event

This is very beneficial EXCEPT it is a little too late!!

Wouldn’t it be great if we could just avoid life’s pitfalls?  Have hindsight before making choices…..ahhhhh, how wonderful!!!

Avoid debt, chose a partner wisely, choose a career that really fits us, just make really good decisions?

Isn’t that what we want all the teenagers to do…make really great decisions?  Learn from our mistakes?

But are we really good examples?

I mean….aren’t there red flags we are getting ready to fall in to a pit?

Red flags that tell us our budget it out of control?  Red flags to warn us that maybe this friend isn’t good for us?  Red flags to tell us that the knight in shining armor is just a dud in sparkly clothes?

So, if we, the mature, experienced adults can not avoid these pitfalls, how can we expect teenagers to?

I have had to dig myself out of many pits.  Yes, the red warning flags were there but did I pay attention?  No….I just kept meandering on my path, fell in to a pit and then spent time digging myself out of something I could have easily avoided.

If someone had come to me and said….”If you keep walking down that path, you are going to fall in to a pit that will take you a lot of time and effort to get out of.”  Would I have listened?

Probably not.

How then, do we help teenagers, friends and family avoid pitfalls?  How can we warn them?

Or can we?

Are there some things that just come with age?  With experience?

Is it the way the message is delivered?  Is it a timing thing?  How do we distinguish between those that are open to a warning and those that aren’t?  Is it our responsibility to still say something even though they have their hands over their ears screaming, “I can’t hear you.”?

I don’t know, this thought started out about teenagers but really ended up being about all people.  No one is perfect and no one makes the right choices/decisions all the time but….is there a way to help tip the scales?

A lady I worked with told me her story….She just wasn’t sure the man she was engaged to was really the one God had intended for her.  She asked God to direct her path, she asked Him to have her fiance say a very specific sentence if he was not the man for her.

Well, the next time she saw her fiance, he said the EXACT sentence….

Did she break up with her fiance?  Unfortunately….no.  She had a miserable marriage and her kids suffered even after the divorce.

I think about her often and how she had this big, bright neon sign flashing NO in front of her face and she still ignored it.

I am so sure that God has been that direct with me and I have also ignored the signs.  Other people may have seen the signs for me, but, I was oblivious.

So, back to my original questions….how do we help people “see” the neon signs?  How do we help them dig out of the pits or, avoid them all together?  Is there a system?  A way to help?  Do we have a responsibility to say something?

Appreciate any responses.  A discussion about this is also going on here.

Prayers and Peace,

Lisa

http://www.thelisaeffect.com

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